my brother, Zach

We lost Zach on May 28th and our lives will never be the same. He was the best brother, an amazing husband, the perfect son, and the greatest friend and uncle. I still cry every day because I miss him so much. He was one of those people you thought would always be around. So full of life and always happy. For those that don't know, Zach passed away in his service truck on his way home from work. He was in Decatur and something went wrong with his front driver side tire. It either came apart or blew out and he went off the road into a ravine and into a tree. He was killed instantly. I don't have any other siblings and Zach and I were very close. We talked on the phone several times a week and always loved being around each other. We always made each other crack up laughing and had so many fun memories from when we were little that only the two of us remember. I was so proud of Zach for the life he had made for himself. He went to school at TSTC in Waco and became a diesel mechanic. I've never known a harder worker than Zach. He worked at least 12 hours, usually more, every day. And he loved every minute of it. He loved everything about his life. He bought the house next door to our parents and and lived there with his wife, Lindsay and their dog, Hank. Zach and Lindsay were only married for about 8 months but I know for sure those were the best 8 months of his life. He loved being married to Lindsay, he loved living next door to our parents, and he was excited about being an uncle to my Olivia. He didn't have a lot of free time because he worked so much but he definitely made the best of the free time he had. He worked hard and he played hard. His passion was his 69 Camaro. He got it when he was 15 and he and Daddy had the most fun restoring it. He knew that car inside and out and he had made it the fastest thing around. It was pale yellow when he got it and he and Daddy painted it orange with white stripes. Just recently he had it painted lambo orange with pearl and it looks so awesome. He had just gotten it back so he had only driven it a few times before his accident. Daddy is going to fix it where it is easier to drive so that we can get it back out on the streets. We can't wait! Zach also loved riding his motorcycle and he and Lindsay enjoyed going hunting in south Texas with his friend Clay and his family. Zach also loved hearing Lindsay sing and play her guitar. Zach was and still is her biggest fan. As hard as it is for us all to go on with our lives, we know that is what Zach would want. He lived his life to the fullest and would want us to do the same. What helps me a lot is having no regrets with regard to my relationship with Zach. We loved being around each other, never fought and made lots of wonderful memories. Everyone in my family feels the same way. Zach and Lindsay had a wonderful marriage and they both told each other more than once a day how they felt about each other. And it's obvious that Zach and our parents had a great relationship since they all loved living next door to each other. Zach and Daddy were best friends and enjoyed working on their cars together and helping each other out. Zach and Mama were two of a kind. He had her friendly, funny personality. Both of my parents were so proud of Zach and excited about his future. I know he is still here with us and watching over us and wanting us to have fun and be happy so we are trying our best to do that but it is SO HARD. I spoke at Zach's funeral and tried my best to paint a picture of Zach's life. I could've stood up there and talked about him and told stories for a week and not finished what I wanted to say. There are just not enough words to express how we all feel about Zach. So, through this blog, I will be able to say as much as I want and hopefully allow those who were never fortunate enough to know Zach to feel like they know him after they've seen all the pictures and read all of the stories.

This first group of pictures are of Zach's baby years. Everyone tells me that Olivia looks just like me and I've compared my baby pictures to hers and don't think they look much alike BUT Zach's baby pictures on the other hand look just like Olivia.

Daddy and Zach

These look so much like Olivia



Zach loved the "Johnny Jump Up" and Mama got a "Jenny Jump Up" for Olivia that they keep out at their house. I took some cute pics of her in it that I'll post later.

Zach loved Daddy's dunebuggy - check out me looking on in my blue polka dot swimsuit :)
Me teaching Zach how to tap dance
Easter Sunday before church. Zach looks super excited and I look super irritated

This is in the kitchen at Grandmother & Paw Paw's. I missing a tooth and Zach's missing some skin off of his nose, LOL!
From an early age, Zach loved working on things. This is him and our cousin Casey, looks like Zach is supervising
He has always loved getting greasy...
...and dirty!
This is in our backyard when we lived on Jewell Drive. We loved it when Daddy would push us around in the wheelbarrow. Check out my playhouse, I loved it! Over to the right of it Daddy built a fort for Zach. It was kind of like the one Punky Brewster had, with the hatch in the bottom of the floor where we climbed in. Very cool.
This is hilarious! We were camping in Colorado. Everyone always thought it was so bizarre that Zach could suck in so far that he would be less than an inch thick if he turned to the side. Our older cousins would always be like, "Zach, suck in!" And he would always do it and they would think it was the weirdest thing. Like he was a circus freak or something, LOL. So here he is "sucking in" with a flaming stick in his mouth. With our proud parents looking on, haha.

This is Daddy teaching Zach how to drive. Instead to going to an actual driver's ed place like I did, Daddy just taught him. You can see they are using micro machines to act out little driving scenarios, LOL!

This is on the beach in Port Aransas. This was the first trip that Johnnie went on with us and we had a lot of fun.

Here it is, Zach's first car. 69 Camaro. He got it when he was 15 and he and Daddy had so much fun working on it. This car meant so much to Zach. It was his passion and I was always so thankful that he had it because it kept him occupied and it was something that he and Daddy could do together that kept their relationship strong and kept Zach from getting involved in anything negative. There is no telling how much time and money Zach put into this car. He decided he wanted to paint it orange with white stripes and he and Daddy painted it theirselves. It looked great and I always think of this funny story when I think about them painting it. If you've ever had a bladder infection and taken the pills called AZO for it then you know it turns your pee bright orange. Well, Daddy happened to have a bladder infection and had taken those pills the day they painted the car orange. So when he went to pee it was bright orange. He knew why but thought he'd play a trick on Zach. He asked him if he had gone pee since they've painted the car and if he'd noticed anything weird. Zach said nothing was weird about his pee so Daddy had him come and look at his. Zach couldn't believe it and was like "WHOA" and was pretty shocked and then just laughed and laughed. Daddy finally told him it was the pills and not the paint that turned his pee so orange but I think about that story every time I see any of those AZO pills or think about them painting that car. Zach just recently had the car painted again. It is now Lambo Orange and looks amazing. Daddy has already fixed some things on the car to make it drive easier but the brakes are still pretty bad so he's going to replace them soon.

Here they are under the hood of the car. Johnnie's so proud of Zach wearing his Texas Tech hat!

In the shop getting greasy and dirty working on that car, they both loved it!

This is us at our cousin Kelly's wedding.

This is us at some ceremony I had when I went to TCC.

Brandon, Billy, and Zach. I think this was the last game they played their senior year.
Brandon, Billy, Chris, and Zach before prom
Shayne and Zach. Zach loved telling "Shayne stories." Shayne is funny as hell and Zach loved being around him.
Justin, Billy, Brandon, and Zach workin in the shop

This is Zach in Daddy's dunebuggy. He had it covered in mud by the time he was done with it!

This is at Fun Valley in South Fork, CO after we went horseback riding. We always had a blast at Fun Valley.

This is the same trip to Colorado but was taken in Pagosa Springs. We had a lot of fun there too. I remember Zach crawling around on those rocks in the river and growling like a bear. Not sure why. It was hilarious though and I may even have that on video, still looking for it. And he ended up losing Johnnie's flip flop in that river too.

This is Zach and our cousin Justin and our Paw Paw. Zach and Justin are wearing Paw Paw's football sweaters from when he played at Handley.

Zach and Justin again

What a crazy night. This was taken at Pete's Piano Bar in downtown Fort Worth. We had a blast that night and I love this picture.

This is on the breezway at our Grandmother & Paw Paw's. Not sure what prompted the cowboy hat and old sunglasses. I love that his car is in the picture too.

Zach & Lindsay's first picture together and I love it. They were obviously having so much fun.

Their first snowskiing trip together

This picture of Zach is how I remember him best. I took this when he and I were driving back from Ohio in his truck. We flew up there so he could buy it and we drove it all the way back home. I am so glad I went with him.

Zach and Lindsay with Grandmother & Paw Paw

These were taken at New Years Eve - 12/31/07 - at Deuce

These were taken at Courtney Patterson's wedding in June 2008

I took this picture on my back deck a few minutes after Zach proposed to Lindsay. They were both so excited. And so was I!!!


These were taken at the courthouse where Zach and Lindsay were married last October

Mama, Zach and Lindsay

Mama, Zach, Lindsay, and Daddy
me, Zach, Lindsay and Johnnie (and Olivia in my belly!)


Lindsay's friend, Monica, took these pictures of Zach and Lindsay and they couldn't have turned out more perfect.

Zach and Lindsay on his motorcycle


me and Zach on his motorcycle

Zach, Lindsay, Mama and Daddy went snowskiing in Red River, NM back in February and had so much fun. Johnnie and I didn't go since I was 8 months pregnant :) There are a couple of really good pics of the four of them together but I don't have them so I'll post them later.

Zach and Mox. Zach's best friend Justin McMahon passed away in December 2005 and Mox was his dog. Zach brought him home the night after Justin died and he's lived at Mama & Daddy's house ever since. He is a great dog and we love him very much.

These were taken last Christmas

This was our only family picture with all of us. It was at my "baby party" shower.
This is Zach and Hank. Hank was Zach and Lindsay's dog. After losing Zach, we couldn't imagine things being any worse and Hank was hit by a car and killed on July 10th. Hank was a funny dog and we miss him very much but apparently Zach missed him more and needed him up in heaven. I'm sure they are hunting together right now.



Zach's friend Clay has a deer lease in South Texas and Zach and Lindsay and Hank would go down there with Clay and his wife and sons. These were taken down at the deer lease.

These are my two favorite pictures of Zach. The first one is him holding Olivia in the hospital an hour after she was born. He was so afraid to hold her because she was so tiny. I took the next one of him holding Olivia less than a week before his accident. He called that day and asked if we wanted to come eat at Fresco's in Burleson and watch Lindsay sing. Of course we did and I'm so glad we went and I'm so glad he held her again and that I got a picture of it. I know he loved her very much and I tell her that every day and she looks at those two pictures every morning and we tell him "Good morning Uncle Zach" and we tell him what our plans are for the day and that we love him and that we miss him very much. Some days I can say it without crying but most days I can't because I do miss him SOOOO much and still cannot believe that he's gone.

I would give anything to turn back time and be able to somehow prevent what happened to him. I still everyday just hope that this is just a nightmare that I will wake up from but I know it is not. I try to tell myself that it was just his time to go and that it happened for a reason but I don't know that I'll ever be able to think of a good enough reason to have him taken away from us so soon and so suddenly. Like I said before, our lives will never be the same without Zach. We will forever feel an emptiness inside without him.

I hate to end on such a downer so I have one more funny story that my cousins couldn't believe I didn't tell at the funeral. It's the story of the "Zach Rule" we have at Christmas. On Daddy's side of the family Zach and I have 2 aunts, 2 uncles, and 5 cousins (plus us and my parents) and we would always draw names at Thanksgiving to see who we would be buying a Christmas present for. Well, years ago we quit doing that and starting doing the "chinese gift exchange" or whatever you want to call it where all the girls bring a girl gift and the boys bring a boy gift and then the girls draw numbers and the boys draw numbers and #1 goes first, then #2 gets to either steal #1's gift or open a new gift, etc... (By the way there are also 6 GREAT grandchildren that I thought I should mention but they have no relevance in this story) Anyway, so the first year we started doing that gift exchange we had Christmas out at my parents house in Alvarado. And I'm thinking Zach and I both still lived at home. Now these gifts are supposed to be something everyone would be able to use. Like, the basic boy gift is usually the newest flashlight, laser level, tape measure, hammer, Home Depot gift card, etc... So I don't remember if it was one of our uncles or one of our cousin's husband's but the gift that was opened was a Korn CD. They all looked around at each other like "what is this? who is Korn? and who would bring this CD to a Christmas gift exchange?" Zach did. He wanted that CD, knew no one else would and that whoever got it would end up giving it back to him. LOL! So it was funny the first time. The next year his boy gift was car parts - for a 69 Camaro. Funny, he's the only one who owned a 69 Camaro so of course that gift was given back to him. The next year he brought some super gory hunting videos. None of the men in our family are much into gore so of course he got those DVD's back and that is the year we enacted the "Zach Rule." You could not bring a gift that ONLY YOU would be able to use or would want. So that's the story of the "Zach Rule" and I'm sure I will think of plenty of other funny stories about Zach or that Zach told me and as I do I'll share them. I realize it has taken me forever to write this and it has been very hard and very therapeutic at the same time. I will try to start updating more often now with more cute pictures of Olivia and her adventures.

OH YEAH - I realize I have a fall layout and the first day of fall isn't until September 22. I am sick of summer though. I was just telling Johnnie that I have never wished for cooler weather as much as I have this year. I think it might be because Olivia loves being outside and we can't go out as often as we'd like because of the heat and the mosquitos. So I was hoping by changing to a fall layout it would bring on the cool weather. We'll see.